New Rin Tin Tin Song!

So I play bass in this fabulous funk-rap band called Rin Tin Tin.
I am accompanied by Ellyn Stroud (E-Money), our brilliant rapper and lyricist, Andy Marin (my main squeeze), our extremely talented guitarist, and Grey Vracin (Creamy Grey), our magnificent beat-master and comedic relief.
I'll post more about the band later, but I'm mainly excited right now because I just wrote a brand new Rin Tin Tin song.
Ellyn and I write the songs usually, but I haven't written one in awhile. I've had some bass riffs swirling around in my head, but I finally wrote some lyrics today that I'm pretty proud of. Also, there isn't a lot of singing in Rin Tin Tin, but I'm excited to say that this is my first song with a written melody! (Meaning I plunked the notes I was humming on the piano and wrote it down)

So imagine a bass line sort of like this--
(Turn your volume all the way up, I couldn't turn up very loud because it was late)




With a rap like this
(Keep in mind that the rhythm probably won't make sense reading it, what with all the stressed and unstressed syllables, broken and unbroken words etc)

Verse 1
Never enough
Sooner or later things are runnin' a muck
Your hilarity brings no clarity and I don't give a fuck
Maybe the next time around I'll do you proud
Only I can hear the screaming inside and how loud
It is not my place to get all up in your face
I handle with grace the burden of a quickening pace
Slow down, speed up maybe I'll take you aside
Explain why you should sit back and just let me drive
Keep your composure till the ice around you freezes you there
Yeah, now you've had your share
Reach out your hand though you think I won't take it
Love me, even if you have to fake it

Chorus (sung)
Because I need that from you, you know I need that from you
Stuck in our own agendas wondering why and what we did to get this way
Forgive me for treating you like I do
Give me the benefit of the doubt help me out when my hand is still--reaching for you

Verse 2
Recall a time when we were fine
Hell, even better than fine--sublime
Spending time felt less like doing time or losing time
I'm just as much to blame, you turned your back against me but I'm doing the same
And it shows, in every room we occupy we feel surrounded by..disdain, disservice and plain disinterest
Some of the best, these words shouldn't come to mind for two or our kind
There's love there, it's not fair to live our lives apart
Let's make a start do the smart thing and repair this damage
Love is what I need, I think you'll agree

Chorus

Bridge
Basically repeating "I need that from you" over and over with growing intensity

And that's all I have right now, but I'm planning on writing a third verse

So I'm excited! I know people never comment on blogs (much less read them..) but if you happen to be reading this right now, feel free to comment and give some feedback.

Acting and Narcisism

I don't consider myself an actress. I don't want to be an actress. I don't have a passion for acting. There are a million things I love more than acting.

Yet, I still act. I act frequently, actually. I have never understood why I am consistently drawn toward acting.

I was pondering and reasoning when I realized that it could all be tied to ego. Think about it: the rush of seeing your name on that cast list beside the part you want, taking your head shots and seeing them on your resume, seeing your face on television or in a movie. It all seems a bit narcissistic. I believe that acting is an art form, but there is still part of me that wonders if acting isn't just a confidence boost, a kick for your self esteem.

Take a moment and recall every famous actor you can think of. There are many of them. So what is so appealing about being an actor? You get paid damn near teacher's salary, if not less, and have to go through hoops to get work at all. Some actors become famous, most don't. But what is the one aspect that consistently pulls countless people to the theater or film or television.

I feel guilty oftentimes when I catch myself getting caught up in the acting world. I feel as though it is the self recognition that I love more than the actual art form. For anyone who has ever done theater before, they know the drill. Auditioning is a nail biting and exciting process that either leads to payoff or disappointment. Even after getting the part and experiencing the inflation of ego that soon follows, you will still go home and highlight each line your character has. Counting them one. by. one. Sure your director will tell you to go home and read the whole play, but all you really care about are your lines, your entrances, your cues. That's just the way it goes.

Sounds pretty narcissistic.

And oh don't we all know how much emphasis Hollywood places on physical appearance. Most young movie stars are more famous for their photos in US Weekly than their actual work. If I decided to become an actress, I would feel pressured to look perfect all the time. Hire a crew of hair and makeup artists to follow me wherever I went to make sure I looked presentable at all times. Isn't that important? Looking your best at all times so that casting directors will magically see you in their movie? I don't see magic in that. I see thousands of dollars wasted on curling irons, concealer, and five inch heels (I'm 5'3 and it's no mystery that young Hollywood favors that model-esque, tall and slender physique).

God!

And the frustrating thing is, we're all guilty of this. I audition for plays all the time. I feel that rush in the audition room. I feel that addicting self worth when I see the pay off. It's an extreme boost for your self esteem, and who doesn't want that?

The guilt sets in when I feel as if it's an addiction I'm feeding, not a love.
If it's a love of anything, it's a love of vanity--not art.



What do you think? Comment and tell me about it

My Skin Hates Me..But I Love Theater!

Good morning, gigantic zit on the upper right-hand corner of my chin.
I knew it would come to this, I've been packing the make-up on (Ben Nye stage make-up, it's basically paint) for four consecutive days--I knew you would lash out soon.
Oh the joys of theater. I don't consider myself an actress, but I won't ever be able to hide that part of me is a full-fledged theater kid.
Though I used to deny it, I love the tedious hair curling, the horribly fake English accents, and the oh-so-uncomfortable character shoes. But honestly, theater is so much more than that! Oh but I sure as hell do not have the credibility to explain what theater itself really is (a medium of language, YES Mr. Athas).
But my favorite part of every theatrical experience I have had is the community of friends I build through the process.

I am in a British comedy right now, Charley's Aunt at my high school. The show was written in the 1800's and has STILL survived in this sexting-and-twitter-filled day and age. I've made some remarkable friendships in the three short months that we've worked on the show. The special bond made in a cast is a truly extraordinary thing. I have my best friends, my friend-friends, my school friends, my acquaintances--none of these relationships are similar to those made in a cast.
I see these people almost every day. I have to work intimately with these people. When acting on stage with some one, there are special bonds formed. It's one of those you-have-to-be-there situations. I definitely don't share as much of my life with my theater friends as I do my best friends, but I still feel as though my theater friends have a very special part of me. We understand each other. One principal aspect of my personality is my love of performing. I love being around theatrical people because they share that love.

Now all of this is fine and good on paper, but sometimes it makes you wonder--Would I ever have anything in common with these people outside of acting? What would we talk about if we weren't in a show together?
Well I have these feelings all the time as well. That does tend to happen doesn't it. You make friends at summer camp. You quickly realize that all you can comfortably talk about with your friends from summer camp is..summer camp. But I was proven wrong the other night when we took a cast trip to IHOP after opening the show.

A picture is a thousand words and..well..let's just say this one sums up my mood that evening


Talking. Laughing. Sharing. It was a perfect night! I went home that evening feeling so content with my life.
That night was just a continuation of the blissful state that this show has put me in. We went on a field trip on Wednesday, followed by our preview show. Ever since that fabulous day I have been in another world. I'm very studious and always work hard in school, but this is the first time that I've simply forgotten that I even go to school. This play and this cast has become my life--and I love it!

Maybe I'm having this reaction because I've always been a sucker for familial bonding. It sounds sappy, but I really enjoy the feeling of community and family. I've never been a sports enthusiast (you should see me play basketball..or anything for that matter), so I don't get the benefits of being on a team. I'm in a band, that is a tightly knit family for sure. But there is something about being in a bigger group of people and still feeling the closeness you feel with your two best friends.

It makes me melt, I'm melting if you couldn't tell.

I'll probably write more about this wonderful group of people and my crazy experiences as a theater kid. But to close this post I will show you my Theater Kid Victory Picture

Summing up my attitude toward theater and my cast:


P.S. Notice the thick, goopey, theater make-up

:D

That's Hot: The Death of Class in the Present Generation

Ella Fitzgerald, Audrey Hephurn, Jacqueline Kennedy O'nasis--All women that embodied class and were staples of womanhood in their generation.
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears--These are the women that we have to look up to nowadays. These are our models of womanhood, though they are hardly models of class or glamour.

It took awhile for me to fully understand class and how important it is. I blame this completely on the women of this generation that are thought of as role models. I would kill to live in the 1940's when girls looked up to Ella Fitzgerald for her outstanding demeanor and style. Instead, we see pictures of half-naked women in the tabloids and we are supposed to..what..idolize them?
This whole idea doesn't make sense to me, though it does to some girls. I guess I've always acted a certain way when it came to my body, clothes, and my whole outward show of myself. I've always been very modest, not in a prudent way, but I want people to respect me. I don't consider that to be class, but the women that are considered role models nowadays hardly respect themselves enough to be earning the respect of others.

I sometimes feel like this topic has been tired out. Like when I mention it, I transform into a mother in my mid 40's whining about how my daughter is wearing a jean skirt that I think is too short and it's all because Paris Hilton was wearing one in US Weekly today. That's not my point.
What I'm saying is that people need to stop wondering how our society got so trashy and why nobody wears pretty dresses anymore and men don't pull out the chairs for their dates when they go to dinner--who wants to pull out the chair for a trashy whore?

That might be a little extreme. But how interesting is it to think of how things would be if, instead of aiming to look like Megan Fox, girls aimed to look like Anne Hathaway or Norah Jones--classy women of this generation that would actually serve as good role models not only to girls that will be nuns when they grow up, but for all of us!

If people are unhappy with the loosely upheld standards of society nowadays, they simply need to look at the current models for society. I wonder how many girls want to be just like Lindsay Lohan when they grow up. God. The mere thought scares me.

You really turn me on..

The way you make me feel, woo baby.

I saw This Is It this evening and, aside from being profoundly blown away and inspired as one would expect, I was strangely turned on.
Michael has always drawn me in, especially his 19-year-old-hip-thrusts in Don't Stop Til You Get Enough. But of course I felt a bit ookie watching the tribute to the deceased King of Pop and feeling..ready to be startin' something.
Watching Michael Jackson always gives me an appreciation for men that can move. What girl isn't turned on by a properly executed hip thrust? Or that fancy foot work followed by a smooth turn. I don't know, something about it makes me melt.

It's too bad that, in today's society, swaying back and forth ass-to-crotch is considered dancing. Gettin' low, grinding, and damn near having sex on the dance floor is nice and all--but it's the actual execution and sexual undertone of Michael's dancing that gets me.
When he's Billie Jeanin' it up, you can tell that there's something driving him other than the ever famous bass line.
It's all very arousing to me. Though I have a boyfriend, I almost want to hold auditions for male dancers to just have at my disposal. That definitely sounds like I'm into male strip joints. Anyone can take off their clothes to Ice Ice Baby.

I want some funky ass Michael Jackson dancing, boys.

Birth of a Youtube Channel!

Hello everyone,

I'm excited to say that I've FINALLY made myself a youtube channel to record my original songs and covers. I was trying to record some videos this afternoon when my dinky keyboard conked out on me, so I had to upload an old one.

Anyway, check it out! There's more to come and I always like suggestions for covers.
This video is an original that I wrote awhile ago called "I Don't Want to Be an Actress"

Some people..

I don't consider myself a very hateful person, BUT

Some people have the power to make my blood boil. Particularly these hot-shot kids, let's call them Kristopher Douchebag and Matthew Dillhole. I'm sorry that I am so harsh, but that's just my nature. We all know these kids. The over the top non-conformists that hang out with the other non-conformist kids (except not on the weekends, that's too mainstream). These kids sit at lunch and discuss how they despise people and all of their tendencies and how the world would function more efficiently if everyone. acted. like. them.

Well that's just great! Stay in your bubble (I bet it's pretty hard to dig your way up when you're THAT underground). Congratulations, you shun society and all the wickedness that comes with it. I understand that it's "cool" to be different. But what would YOU do if Matthew Dillhole claimed he didn't listen to music, because merely LISTENING TO MUSIC is too mainstream? Would you punch him in the nose? I probably would. Oh but it doesn't end there. Though these children pretend not to have interests--they do. They would rather keep them to themselves, that's all (you probably wouldn't have heard of anything they do, it is oh so underground).

The interesting thing is, these kids are not the indie kids. Indie kids are a whole other genre (like that? Cause of Indie music?). Being indie usually suggests that you have style, taste, a PREFERENCE. And being indie doesn't mean you shun the world, they just listen to too much Britney Spears to know about Throw Me the Statue or One Day as a Lion. That is surely not YOUR fault.

No, these kids are a whole new breed of ignorant. These are the kids that hate Michael Jackson because he's either "a faggot" or they "never much liked the Billie Jean song, that's what it's called right?". Oh yeah, I forgot--you're much too busy to know a petty little thing like that.
These are the kids that look at your laptop while you're on Facebook and say "Oh wow, what is that? Of course I don't have one, so I don't know how they work. What does this do? WAIT, YOU TALK TO PEOPLE ON THIS THING? ZOMG." Actually they probably don't even own computers. Russian literature. That's my Facebook.

You would think that these kids are too underground to have friends, who needs friends when they probably won't comprehend my oh so complex personality? Spare me.
But actually, these people tend to travel in packs just as cheerleaders or theater kids do. The packs are smaller, mind you, they can't have many people knowing about them.

Perhaps the thing that irritates me the MOST about these wonderful human beings is that they think they are so. damn. great.
They think the rest of the world should act like they do. The few people I know that fit this description are some of the cockiest people I've ever met. What do you have to be cocky about? If you're going to be self absorbed, you should at least have a reason.

If you're gorgeous, fine
If you're talented, fine
If you're really frigging intelligent, FINE

But oh, excuse me
I forgot
It's not cool to have people like you


Some people..